Sometimes as parents we get so wrapped up in our responsibilities and obligations that we forget to slow down and think of what those around us need that we might not be providing. Sometimes it might be attention that our spouse would love to have or a little encouraging that our children need to hear.
I have written a lit of 5 compliments that our kids need to hear from us. These statements will really empower your child and help to build the confidence they need to continue to thrive in this world.
- You did a great job. – This lets them know that despite what you might really think about their work, you know they did their best. Because after all, they are growing and learning each day and we can’t expect for them to get things right the first time. You were never perfect and neither will they be. Don’t put unnecessary pressure on them when they are beginning to try new things because you might set them up for failure. We are aiming for the opposite. Build them up!
- I appreciate that. – Making a statement like “I appreciate that” lets your child know that you are invested in what they are doing and that you enjoy when they offer their services or when they do something out of the ordinary. Once again, don’t let your inner critic come out. Refrain from correcting them on insignificant details in the moment. Let them know that you appreciate their efforts and they will continue to go along way. As you build, then you can steer them and offer helpful suggestions.
- You look nice today. – Sometimes a simple statement as such can really make you tingle inside. It makes you feel like you did one thing right, even if it is putting together a cute outfit. If your 5 year old daughter mismatches her clothes, this is your perception.
Obviously she thought the items went together well and it made her happy. Just be thankful that she is becoming an individual with her own tastes. She’ll understand fashion do’s and don’t’s later.
- You make our family fun. – Oh, what an empowering statement! Imagine being a young child and hearing this. It would really make you feel like you have a powerful contribution to your family. Let your child know while they are behaving well and everyone is having a good time that you appreciate that. You want to reward those behaviors in order for them to be repeated. In psychology we learned about reinforcing behavior we want which is called Operant Conditioning. The reward they receive is your praise and there is nothing your children desire more.
- I love that you are being honest. – This can be applied to any characteristic they are displaying, but make sure to give the compliment in the moment so that they connect what you are saying to the action they have made. Acknowledging their positive character traits will reinforce good behavior and build their self-esteem. Focusing on the positives instead of the negatives will help to build your child up and will foster a respectful and open relationship between you.