When a new mom becomes pregnant, as a first time mom or even after her fifth child, people love to tell her stories about their pregnancy, give her unsolicited parenting advice or simply say flat out rude comments! After a few months of hearing comments or towards the end of her pregnancy, she might lash out or fire off some fiery words after she’s heard “omg you’re so big” for the 100th time. We don’t understand why other people don’t think before they speak, especially to a hormonal pregnant woman. Here’s a list of things to never say to a pregnant woman. Also, for all of you pregnant mamas out there, we’ve included a list of comebacks as well (you’ll thank us later!).
OMG, You’re so big! Are you having twins?
Pregnant or not, no one likes to be reminded that they’ve literally doubled in width and may look (and feel) like a huge whale. If you’re genuinely wondering if she’s having twins or simply making a comment on how different she looks, think twice before you open your mouth! No one wants to hear about any comments related to their weight, pregnant or not. After all, in her head, all she can hear is – holy crap you’re huge.
Pregnant Mom’s Comeback – “Nope, I’m not having twins, just carrying the next linebacker for the New York Giants.”
I was in labor for 40 hours and tore from my ******* to my ****!
While it’s only natural to want to share your own personal experiences and you may think that it is offering good advice to a pregnant mom, here’s a newsflash for you – it’s not! Sharing your labor horror stories is a BIG NO NO! You don’t want to scare the mom to be or get in her psyche. Just because you were in labor for almost two days and experienced horrible tearing doesn’t mean that she will, so don’t project that on her.
Pregnant Mom’s Comeback – Hint – As soon as someone starts to talk about their labor you can simply stop them and say “Before you share your story, I want to stop you! Let’s talk about your labor after I have mine so we can relate, but I don’t want anything to scare me before I have my baby”.
You know, you really shouldn’t (bottle feed, give him a pacifier, vaccinate your child, get an epidural, etc)
People LOVE to give unsolicited (and sometimes very misinformed) parenting advice to expecting moms and dads. Sure, your comments may come from a place of love and care. But at other times, people can be very overbearing with their opinions and thoughts on how a new mom should raise her child. Comments like “you shouldn’t give your baby a pacifier” “you aren’t going to vaccinate your child!?” and “you really won’t survive labor without an epidural” are unnecessary and outright rude. Keep in mind that the expecting mom has probably received at least 50 comments of parenting advice that she didn’t ask for, so if she snaps back, it’s for a reason.
Pregnant Mom’s Comeback – “Thanks for your expert parenting advice, but we’re going to parent and make decisions for our child based on what we feel is right and best for them”.
Oh, I knew a (insert baby’s name) in college. He was such a jerk!
This is another big no-no. Whether you knew this person or he was a horrible ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, most people can’t help but connect a name to someone that we’ve known in our past. Just because that “Ashley” was a total witch, doesn’t mean that your friend’s newborn baby will be one too! It is always best to keep your opinions about the baby’s name to yourself, or better yet, don’t even ask! Naming a child is one of the most personal things for parents and some have a hard time deciding without considering other people’s opinions.
Pregnant Mom’s Comeback – “Well, there’s a reason why we aren’t naming him (insert rude commenting person’s name) because they can’t seem to keep their opinions to themselves!
Say goodbye to getting any sleep!
The number one thing that other people like to remind new or expecting parents of is that they’re not going to get any sleep. It is a well-known fact that babies are up every 2-3 hours for feeding, and most parents are already stressed about not having enough sleep during those first few weeks. Do yourself a favor, and don’t remind the parents to be (for the 100th time) that they’re not going to get any sleep. Even better, maybe give them your number and tell them that you’re always there for them if they feel like they just need a nap!
Pregnant Mom’s Comeback – “You’re the 100th person that has told me that. Thanks for the newsflash! Do you plan on coming over when I need a nap :)?”