Things I’ve Learned in My 30s

In my 37 years of existence, I’ve grown in so many ways through experiences and from knowledge I’ve gained. It feels as though the most liberating knowledge has occurred over the past couple of years or so. Some days I wish I could go back in time, knowing what I know now, but I have traveled this path as it is my journey that I guess I am destined to be on. There is no changing it.

So, that brings me to the start of my list:

1. Leave the past in the past. There is nothing you can do to change it. Dwelling on it does absolutely nothing to benefit you. In order to be happy, you have to choose it each day. Don’t let your bad decisions/experiences have power over you today. Take control of your life and your happiness. Learn to let go and find freedom in releasing what holds you hostage.
2. Who cares what other people think? I like to make an impression the first time I meet someone, but I am my authentic self. I don’t put on a face and pretend to be something I’m not. I am on my best behavior and I am respectful of others, but if someone disagrees with any aspect of my character or interests, ok. Good for you. We are all different. How boring the world would be if we all behaved the same. Be tactful, be selfless, but be you.
3. Keep your personal life private. Not everyone who is interested in hearing your problems care. Some people are just nosy and thrive off of drama. Don’t air your dirty laundry in public and if you need support, trust in one close friend who will maintain a neutral stance on any issue you are having. Not everything needs to be shared either. Sometimes it’s best to wait it out before you decide to divulge personal info to someone else. You might find that certain parts can be resolved on your own with a clear mind.
4. Keep your circle small. You really only need one really close friend to be happy, otherwise you begin to spend a lot of time maintaining relationships that are similar. Find that one person who you click with, who is there to support you when you need them, who keeps a neutral stance when expressing their opinions/advice…and most importantly, find someone who lives drama-free, as you should as well.
5. Stay away from drama. I can’t even begin to express how important it is for your health and sanity to stay away from people who enjoy drama, whether they create it or like to surround their self with it. These kind of people will suck the life out of you always trying to keep you involved or updated on all the shit that’s going on in their life. It doesn’t matter if they are family or friends, cut them out of your life before you wind up being a part of or worrying about their chaos. Let them deal with that mess and carry that weight.
6. Less is more. This applies to everything. Lots of people feel like they need a big house and new cars and the latest cell phone and all the cable channels and kitchen cabinets full of food. The truth is, we are wasting our money and happiness feeling like we need all these extras/upgrades in life. You won’t find true happiness in the material things, I can promise you that. I have chosen to live a much simpler life and I am so grateful that I have. I can invest my money and time into things that really matter. I steadying of buying things, pay for more experiences in life. Your kids won’t look back on all the Xbox games they had for happy thoughts, they will search for the memories that brought them true happiness and a feeling of connectedness with their family. 
7. Always make time for your children. Do things that will build their character and bring out their passions. Offer them lots of resources to help them to learn what they are passionate about so that they can become the best at whatever they do. What they love most is receiving your attention and praise for their hard work. Once they do, they will only work harder to make you proud. Just make sure to remind them that failure is a part of success.